Daisuke :The life threatening issues of a teen
by Em0tionally UnStAbL3
Summary: A Journal kept by Daisuke, explaining all his hardships, and the perspective of how he thinks and what he thinks of people and the surroundings. I have no clue what to rate it, but to calss it as teen :S please R&R!
1. December 24, Christmas Eve

Disclaimer: I own nothing of digimon nor any thing related to it. I just write. For nothing, because I love it and it helps release anger and stress. Well this is my first story, done in the form of a journal. It is Davis, and how his Christmas was ruined. It goes seem angsty more then anything. So I hope you enjoy. R&R Please - Later!

The Chronicles of Someone I Onced Believed.

24th of December, Christmas Eve, 2003 1:31pm

Lame.

That's it.

He probabley thinks I'm a lame excuse for a young adult. That's why he yelled. I hate yelling. It scares me more then if someone was to punch or hit me. Damn it … as I think of it, I cry…

I wonder if he saw me.

I lower my baseball cap, put my music on full blast, and put the hood on the sweatshirt that Hikari bought for me, over my hurt, confused and pathetic head. We're driving out of town for Christmas. I wish I was sick, instead of all those poor innocent kids that have absolutely nothing to live for. But for some reason you can't change the past for anything. Just like when dad came home to see the undone dishes and yell furiously at me. Damn my eyes… they hurt so much, but I'm trying not to make a noise.

I hope I don't.

I don't want Jun, my step dad or mom to look back here and worry about me. They don't need anymore stress, especially Jun and mom. Hmm… I haven't eaten at all. They just stopped at McDonalds, but I refused. I'm not hungry. I can't eat when I'm upset. Grrr… the tears… I hate crying. I do a lot of that lately.

I miss her.

Hikari. We made plans before Christmas, but dad canceled them at the last minute. I was upset, but I don't like getting mad at people, so I kept my cool. I'm just not that kind of a person. I can never get mad at anything or anyone. I dunno.

Maybe because I'm weak.

My only wish for Christmas was to see the one I truly loved more then anything at all. I can't say myself, because I don't think very high of myself.

Ever.

Her parents are amazing, even though they're just regular people. They care so much for her, and even me too. That's something my separated parents could ever do. I'm glad that her parents are still together. Cause trust me, separation is not fun to go through at all.

It sucks.

Even though I live with my mom, I have never actually felt like I fit in with her and her husband. She always spends more time with him and Jun then me. Like joking, and playing, etc… but not with me. But it doesn't bother me… yes it does… I don't know what I mean. God these tears hurt.

Sharp…edge…

Not as much as rejection… I wish Hikari was here to hold me. She's the only one that comforts me and seems to welcome me with open arms. But I can't see her. I don't know how long, so I'm thinking of ditching this place. Who knows? Maybe they won't miss me at all…

Davis


	2. December 25, Christmas Day

Disclaimer: I own nothing of digimon nor any thing related to it. I just write. For nothing, because I love it and it helps release anger and stress. Well this is my first story, done in the form of a journal. It is Davis, and how his Christmas was ruined. It goes seem angsty more then anything. So I hope you enjoy. R&R Please - Later!

Chronicles Of Someone I Onced Believed

25th of December, 2003, 10:49am

Christmas.

What is Christmas?

I don't really know to be honest. Maybe it's a time for spoiled children to get what they want, and others to spend quality time with family and friends. But I don't know. I think I hate Christmas. 5years ago…

Damn tears.

I almost… ended my… my life. Maybe I should have, now that I reflect on it. I really don't see a purpose that I serve in a family unit. I don't think I would be missed at all, even if I wanted to believe so. Hell, I know then only person that would miss me would be Hikari.

I hope.

But really, I wouldn't blame anyone for not missing me. I'm clumsy, annoying, aggravating, stupid, lame and ridiculous. Many people would say I'm not any of these, but I am. I know I am. My mind tells me so.

So I know it's true.

5 years ago, I wish I'd need it there. No more me, No more Daisuke, and I know that would save Hikari and Mom some pain if it had happened then. Why is it that people always tremble when they cry? I hate it.

I hate crying this much.

It's Christmas. Should I open presents? No, I don't deserve to, I think. I don't think I deserve much at all, to be honest. I put people through so much sorrow and turmoil, I even wonder why they forgive me? Well It's time I guess…

Tears… they run… away… just li, li, li, like…

Me.

Goodbye…

Daisuke

PS: Hikari, I know you can find better, like TJ…no, TK. That's it, TK. He seems like a good guy. I love you…


	3. February 23

Disclaimer : Do not own Digimon

February The 23rd,

Love and passion.

That's what the therapist said I need in my life. Love and passion. I have those. Don't I? Ask Hikari. She'll tell you how much that I love her. And my passion. I want to become a noodle salesman, and sell ramen noodles! Isn't that what love and passion are, something that you cherish and love to do?

Damn, I cry a lot now…

I think I took my pills this morning, but I'm not sure. I can't remember. They're called 'Citalopram'. There are anti depressants. Every since I attempted suicide, my parents and step father ( as well as step mother) had always reminded me to take them, thought there are some days I feel I don't need them…

No, I don't…

They seem to take away the bad thoughts I used to have of myself, sometimes. Well, most of the time. It's school time and I think I have test. Hikari is in this class as well. How much I love her! Even though I told her she should go out with T.K., she refused and still remains by my loyal side. And I Appreciate what she has done for me. It means so much.

So much.

I was right. It was test. Well, I'll guess I'll stop writing for now, and write more after. I wonder what is on the test?

Davis


	4. February 23, again

Disclaimer. Do not own Digimon

February 23rd, (again)

I failed it.

The test, in physics, I failed it. It was way to complex for my small and stupid head. I wish that I had studies for it. Though I did remember some stuff on it, I know I failed. No worries there! Oh well, I hate school anyways.

I'm thinking of quitting anyways.

Maybe I'm destined not to attend school? I wonder about that all the time. Maybe, just maybe my parents assumed that I was smart, even though I was in fact stupid, but any ways. Hikari is over talking to Takeru. As much as I like him, I hate him. He has everything. Good looks, athletic, good grades and hell even I wonderful personality.

Something that I lack in…

I wish I could improve myself being. But who knows. Maybe I should attend school. But maybe I shouldn't. I don't know. I don't know much about anything either. Maybe I should've quit when I had the chance.

Not school. Life.

I wouldn't mind leaving this wretched place. You know? People I know for sure wouldn't miss me as much as they claim they do. At least that's the impression they all give me. Someone to talk to, then leave behind when everyone has something planned, ignored the baka Daisuke.

Too little, to late…

She's still talking to Takeru. I wonder if she is having an affair, or is actually choosing him over me? Could it happen? Yes. I think so, though I don't want it to become an actual event in my world. I don't think that I could ever heal from that unfortunate event.

Maybe, just maybe.

Well, I got soccer and stuff to do after school. Maybe I can get T.P. (I mean T.K.) to give me a drive to the soccer field, but I'm too nervous to ask. Oh well, I need the exercise!

Davis


	5. April 11

4/11/2006

School is coming to a close.

I'm …not graduating…

Wow… I can't believe it.

I've tried so hard, but it's all over…

Now there IS nothing left… Why me?

Hikari won't even talk to me,

Not even Takeru,

I wonder if ever they were my friends.

To be honest, I really can't answer that question…

But I don't think that they were…

Well, I guess I better quit school, and get a job.

Money doesn't grow on trees.

I've already moved out.

Mom doesn't know yet. I hope.

I think that this would cause her too much

Heart ache.

Well, looks like I'll be becoming my

Dad,

A low educated human,

Whop turns his back on his own family…

Therapy is getting to be way too much as well.

I wish I could change everything around.

Hikari left me…

Gone, forever…

Leaving me behind,

To rot by myself…

I find myself sitting alone a lot now,

No one ever visits me.

I think I know why…

The police always check up on me,

Wondering if I get my hands on a knife,

I'm still thinking why not?

Maybe it won't be as bad…

Shit there coming…

(Scratches were written down in the journal, made by his rash actions to write and run, but they read: Now I can full fill my lifes sentence, be with my grandparents, up in the big, blue sky…)


	6. Apr 22

April 22nd

I Sit.

I sit alone, looking all over,

Trying to find an answer,

"Answer me boy, why did you run away?"

Asked the elder official,

Who is certain aspects, reminded me of my dad.

I tried looking through my memory bank,

And couldn't find an answer,

I tried telling him it, but still,

They wouldn't accept the fact that it was the best,

To my ability,

It only lasted for fifteen minutes more,

Then I was let free.

Only, I wasn't.

They still wanted me to stay.

They then took me to a room.

It was like any other room.

Small spacious with very limited décor,

Only this one had painted walls.

There she was.

My mom,

As she lay quietly,

Paralyzed,

As fear completely filled my chest.

What did I do?

…

Davis


	7. April 25

April 25th,

She's dead.

She left me.

Exactly two hours ago.

Leaving me and Jun behind,

I wish I could switch places with her,

I think she is more needed then me anyways.

But, I wish,

I wish she was here.

Here to comfort me,

As I cry in the corner,

Unable to feel happiness,

As my eyes flood with,

Fear and hate.

They still ignore me.

Takeru and Hikari still haven't laid eyes on me,

Nor have I seen them here in the hospital.

Maybe, like I said, they were never real friends to begin with.

The only true friend is your own self.

I sit in the corner of my room, writing my emotions down…

Because everyone blames me for her death,

My grandparents, my sister, my dad,

Everyone.

I killed her,

But without using a gun or a weapon,

But through thievery,

As I left with her heart,

Making it impossible for her to bear each

And every

Day.

Davis.


	8. May 1

May 1st

Now I did it again.

I've killed someone else.

Jun told me to get lost the other day,

And I did.

For two days straight I never came back home,

And worried her sick enough,

That the doctors said her cancer started shutting down her body.

Why me?

Why do I have to be the serial killer?

The one who kills his victims by leaving?

By parting from their perfect lives?

Leaving with their hearts,

And leaving worry behind to haunt their minds?

My mind is slowly evaporating.

Hah. I learnt that word the other day.

It's what water does when it gets hot enough.

I miss them both.

The house is very empty now.

I'm the last Motomiya living now…

Some help me…………..( Through out the page there are tears all over and a lot of scribbles that read ; I can't take it anymore. I feel that I should join them or something…)

Daisuke


End file.
